


I know my love should be celebrated (But you tolerate it)

by pyro07



Category: Batwoman (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:08:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29002719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyro07/pseuds/pyro07
Summary: Gotham was only supposed to be a pit stop but it turned into something more.Or: Julia Pennyworth decides to make Gotham her home.
Relationships: Sophie Moore/Julia Pennyworth
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. Prologue

It’s easier to twist your body around but the knife wound still twinges if you move quickly. You’re used to it though, that wound probably won’t be the first or the last stabbing you’ll experience before you die. The wound in your heart though, that’s going to take longer to move on from.

Relationships used to be so much easier for you. You’d meet someone; dazzle them with your smile, your baby blue eyes and an alluring accent before leaving them satisfied in bed the next morning. It was easier, quicker and less emotionally taxing. Kate was the first one you thought you’d change that routine for but it never moved further than the both of you enjoying the time you had together, no strings attached.

Then you came to Gotham, reunited with Kate only to fall for the ex she was running away from when she spent a hazy period in her life with you. Sophie was a surprise, an event in your life that you weren’t expecting. She caught your eye the minute you first met (how could she not, she’s gorgeous) and she’d stayed in your thoughts since. You pulled all your usual moves once she expressed an interest but you began to think of more than just fun with her. You started to think that maybe you could stay longer in Gotham, not just to protect it from Safiyah, but maybe, just maybe plant roots for someone who had wormed her way into your heart so quietly that you didn’t see it coming until it was right in your face.

Kate was always there, in the background, throughout all your interactions but when Sophie pushed for more than just the occasional burger hang, you thought that she was moving on from Kate. That this time, sticking around was the right idea because there was a possible future looking back at you through deep, soulful eyes.

Then Kate died on a plane crash.

Grief is a funny thing. Nobody knows just how long it will settle within you or how long it’ll take for anyone to learn to live with the death of a loved one and you were prepared to give Sophie as much time as possible to grieve Kate. You weren’t prepared for the letter however. You weren’t prepared to be the target for her anger when she found out that Kate was Batwoman and you had known all along. You knew keeping it a secret from Sophie would come back to haunt both you and Kate but you didn’t expect her to cut you out of her life so quickly. You never read that letter before giving it to Sophie but having her confirm that your lie and her love for Kate were what had made her drift away from you cut harder than anything you’ve ever experienced.

So now you sit overlooking Gotham, trying to decide what the “right” thing to do would be. Take Alice up on her offer? (Even though she stabbed you). Leave Gotham and everything that it entailed? (No, you couldn’t do that. Luke needed you. The Crows needed you, Sophie needed you…). You swing your legs like you used to do as a child, whenever you dreamed of travelling the world alongside your father for whatever adventures he went on. Only now, your mind isn’t on a great adventure, it’s on deciding if it was time to go back to past habits and move on to another city, another mission, another warm body.

Because this? This isn’t what you signed up for when you arrived in Gotham. You didn’t sign up for heartache, heart break or anything heart-related. You were just supposed to complete your mission and go right back to England as soon as you could. You went against the grain and took a left when you should’ve stayed on the highway and it _hurts_.

It hurts to know that the person you were falling for couldn’t look past her anger and her love for another to make sure that you were alright. You were stabbed in an empty car park by a psychopath who had terrorised you and those around you, and it didn’t even make a blip on her radar. Your hurt starts to turn into anger because why are you the one bearing the brunt of all of this? It wasn’t your decision to not tell her, it wasn’t your secret to tell and yet, here you are, Enemy No. 1 because of the cause of all of this is dead and you’re the nearest target. If anything, you should be the one moving on from whatever this was with Sophie. You asked her, point blank, if she still loved Kate and she said no, she reassured you that she was all in and what you had with her was real. Now a letter has changed all of that and she won’t even give you a chance to explain. You don’t want to compete with a ghost and you shouldn’t have to. You didn’t ask for any of this.

The anger fades just as quickly as it came and now you’re back to being hurt and heart-broken. You go back to swinging your legs and contemplating what to do next because you can’t keep _feeling_ like this.

You sit on for a long time, the evening chill settling in well into your bones before you hear footsteps come closer to where you’re sitting. Footsteps that are familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. The person behind you waits and comes closer once you’ve acknowledged their presence with a slight tilt of your head. You think you’re close to making a decision and your visitor will make that process move faster for you. You’re not completely sold on what this decision will mean in the long term but for now, it’s giving you a different sense of purpose. Something else to focus on while your heart mends itself as best as it can. You close your eyes and breathe in. When you exhale and open your eyes again, there’s a determination in your eyes that had drifted away over the last few weeks. Time waits for no man and it’s time you did the same.


	2. Chapter 2

Julia walked into the command center searching but not quite searching for Sophie. Noticing that she wasn’t in yet, she breathed a little sigh of relief as she headed towards her desk. After nodding her greeting to a few agents who were around at the time, Julia settled slowly onto her seat, her knife wound giving her a little reminder of how she still hadn’t healed up completely yet.

Julia knew that what she was about to do could put her into an even more precarious position with those in Gotham but at this point, she had made her choice and was ready to move forward with it. If there was one thing Julia had learned throughout her short but complicated life, it was that when she had a goal in mind, not much could dissuade her from reaching that goal. After logging in, and making sure no one was monitoring her too closely, Julia quickly typed in an encryption that would hide her work and searches from anyone in the Crows’ IT department who might be digging into her computer after she’s gone. She needed information and although Luke was an option, she didn’t want to bring him into this just yet. At some point she would fill him in but for now, those who knew were the only ones who needed to know.

As Rio de Janeiro popped up on her screen, Julia continued her search towards the key places she needed to note down and revisit, if she did indeed end up returning to Brazil during the course of this new path her life had taken. Providência hadn’t changed all that much from the last time she had been in that area and it looked like what she would need there would be right where she left it, granted that the contact she had in the favela hadn’t relocated to another district. That was something she would have to figure out as well.

Her next point of reference was Liverpool. She was desperately hoping that she wouldn’t have to go back there but if her option in Rio didn’t work out, she needed to head back to England and figure things out there. Again. Julia rubbed her forehead in frustration at the likelihood of returning to Liverpool but after taking a beat, she noted down what she needed from there as well. If Liverpool was her next port of call, then she wanted to make sure that she hadn’t left out anything to help her search.

A sudden drop in noise chatter made Julia look up from her desktop. As other agents flicked their eyes between her and the just-arrived Agent Moore, she quickly opened up a new browser and tried to ignore the part of her that was pleading with her to bring Sophie into this. She cleared her throat a little as Sophie looked to bypass her desk, ignoring her presence in the process.

“Hey.” 

_ Hey? _ Julia couldn’t believe that was the best she could come with but it worked as Sophie slowed down enough for Julia to try again.

“Sophie, I know you said you didn’t want to talk but I was hoping we could anyways? There’s a lot I need to tell you and well, I just need you to hear me out?”

Julia could sense that Sophie still hadn’t budged an inch from her previous stance with regards to her and could feel the reluctance to talk coming from a mile away.

“Just wait. Before you say no again, at least let me tell you what I know about the people who were looking for Batwoman.”

“You’re late. I already know all I need to know about Safiyah, no thanks to you.” Sophia responded, hands folded and posture defensive.

Julia had never really had the sinking feeling. That emotion that comes to when something you were dreading comes to life in an instant. Now she did and she didn’t like it at all. 

“You do? How?”

“Not that I owe you anything but she decided that we needed to meet and arranged for me to meet her.”

‘What?” Julia’s heart began to race. Safiyah had met Sophie? How had this happened and she hadn’t been aware of it?

Sophie huffed out a breath before explaining further. “Let’s just say she, and Alice, needed to talk and I went along for the ride. Now I know what she wants and I’m looking for ways to get her that without endangering all of Gotham.”

“You went with Alice to meet her?  _ Alice?! _ ” Julia’s voice rose incredulously. “Sophie please don’t tell me you made a deal with Safiyah. Or Alice. Neither of them will hold up their end of the bargain and Safiyah will definitely leave you in the dark about everything.”

“Like you did? At least with them I know what to expect, unlike with other people in my life!” Sophie shot back.

Julia closed her eyes, willing herself to calm down despite how fast her heart was beating. Gut-clenching anxiety was not something she wanted to deal with ever again but the thought of Sophie coming into direct contact with Safiyah was bringing it out of her quickly.

“Okay, I shouldn’t have gone off like that but Sophie, I know Safiyah better than you do and there is no deal with her that ever ends up working out for the other party.”

Julia took a step towards Sophie, lowering her voice once she realised how much attention was still on them. “Alice is a kitten in terms of danger when it comes to Safiyah. She will take you in, use you up and then take over every aspect of your life if you don’t know how to deal with her. I know that I’m not someone you want to hear from right now but please listen to me when I say this, do not take on any arrangements with Safiyah. The consequences of that aren’t worth whatever she’s offering.”

Sophie’s next words threw Julia for a loop. 

“Kate’s alive, Julia. Kate’s alive and Safiyah has her. We, meaning myself and Alice, do what she wants, and we get Kate back, alive and unharmed.”

White noise began to gather in Julia’s ears. “What do you mean Kate’s alive? And how do you know that Safiyah’s telling the truth?”

“Alice confirmed it and when it comes to Kate, I trust Alice. Kate’s alive and Safiyah has conditions for her release. Conditions that I’m willing to meet up to a point to get Kate back.”

_ No. No. No. No.  _ Of all the things Julia had expected to hear today, this was not one of them.

“So if you don’t mind, I’m going to go and figure out how to bring Kate back.” With that Sophie continued on, leaving Julia standing where she left her.

There’s a lot of things that Julia knows about Safiyah. One. She was one of the deadliest fighters she had ever come across. Two. She also had a knack for biology and medicine. Three. She ruled with an iron fist. And lastly, Julia Pennyworth was never going to escape her reach. That was becoming abundantly clear with each passing day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how many chapters this will be or what my posting schedule will look like but I do have a good idea of where this story's headed and I'm looking to be 5 chapters ahead of whatever I post. So stay tuned I guess?

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn't expecting 'tolerate it' by Taylor Swift to be an inspiration for...anything really but here we are. Maybe this will inspire me to finish off my other work too. Also, unbetaed so all mistakes are mine.


End file.
